Poetry

When schodingers said there's equal probability of anything being true and false until observed, Does that mean life is just an illusion ? Is it running under some "beliefs" ? If you choose to believe it's there. If not it's not there? If so then probability is also an illusion? I wonder believing schodingers theory is also an illusion? I'm stuck between what's real and what's not. I think we all are stuck, Blinded by greed. Running after something that's not there. What really matters?  Living? And are we?  I mean does building our life on some digits, numbers, alphabets, patterns that we created to give purpose , defines life?  Is this what we were made for? If so why does one never acquire peace? Is it because there's no such thing as peace ?  Just an illusion? Birth?  An illusion I suppose ? Death?  Also an illusion ? But what really matters?  Time? Also an illusion. But are we defining time right?  By just dividing cells/patterns of life/...

You're like a warm ray of sunshine, Like a warm hug in a tired day, Like a love so beautiful that it feels like a crime, Like the neurons that's all over my mind. They remember our last meet so vividly, That day, you smiled showing all your perfectly aligned teeth, Like you meant it with every cell of your being. You poured your warmth into that moment,  As if world wasn't about to turn cold. We saw eachother for the last time, But only I seemed to know. How can you be so unbothered by the fact that we're never going to meet ever again? How can you still shine so effortlessly? Like a sunshine breaking through a cloudy day, Like a cold breeze brushing a burning day, A paradox so beautiful that it hurts. I still remember, When your eyes locked with mine. You walked towards me like the universe had cleared all your path, No hesitation, no doubt , Just a smile that says everything that you couldn't/wouldn't seem to put into words. Almost like you were giving me all ...

Dear Spider, You linger around the walls of my room, In the corners, yearning for a place to call "HOME", In the quiet spaces where light forgets to reach, Finding comfort in my stillness. But why do you run off when I try to get near you? You know I mean no harm to you right? Does your heartbeat races when you sense the echoes of my breath? You don't have to fear me. I watch you knit your memories everyday, Journaling your life so that you won't forget it, Carefully creating each pattern of the life you carry in silence. If I ever happen to disappear one day, Will the absence of my scent bother you?  Will the quiet void in the room haunt you, Or will you find solitude in it? Will you weave me a coffin using your spinnerets when I'm no more?                                                                      ...

 When my alveoli first met you  it began  a slow burn into my soul, letting your poison dance in my chest, knowing  you'd leave me hollow. I let your fog settle in the lungs of my hope. every inhale, you always helped me cope. My body remembers, the intimacy of every puff, every ache, every empty space,  you left behind. You're not just ruling my chest, but the neurons that whispers dopamine.                                                            -crystal

"She just got lucky", they say, while her heart bleeds sweat and tears, longing for at least a towel to wipe her hard work off that runs through each cell of her blood. They call it luck because they can't bear to name what they never dared to chase. They didn't see her dreams being stitched together for the thousandth time, hushing her loudest nights. So she just walks, tired but unbent, her silence louder than their applause could ever be.                                                          -crystal

In the corner of my room There lies a guitar, A guitar with no soul,  An empty, unplayed guitar. No stories to tell; She tries hard to collect memories, But I limit her sky, Ignoring her cries, her silent pleas, As she sobs and weeps in the shadows. Everyday, she asks me to tune her, To bring out the music trapped inside, But cruel me doesn't even bother to look at her, Except for the days I invite someone over, When she becomes just a showpiece,  Carrying an empty soul, Longing for the touch of fingers that once danced, Hoping to share her song, Yet here she remains, forgotten, A reminder of dreams left unplayed .                                                                         -crystal

 I'm scared of the nights, The nights that carry darkness, The nights that carry no moonlight, The nights that carry floating dark clouds, The nights that carry weeping souls, The nights that carry pin drop silence, The nights that carry thunderstorms and hurricanes, The nights that carry rage, The nights that carry no dreams, The nights that carry nightmares, The nights that carry terror.                                                                                                                       -crystal

  No,  I'm sensing it. I'm sensing that your magic hands getting wrinkled, The alchemy it had to dissipate.  Those smile lines getting darker, Reminding me that I'm no longer a child, But an adult with a big responsibilities on her shoulder.  Who can no longer play around with you, Who can no longer rot on the couch for a whole day, Who can no longer rely on you for everything,  Who can no longer ask you to pamper her, Who can no longer ask you to feed her with your magic hands, Who can no longer ask you to shower her with all your love. Yet, dear mother, can you assure? No matter how time may obscure,  That I can still ask for your acquaintance? That I can still ask for you to feed me even if I grow old? That you would still pamper me with all your love?  No matter how the years may unfold, That our bond remains forever and ever bold.                                  ...

तिमी मर्नै पर्छ म तिमीलाई केही क्षणको लागि त्याग्न पनि सक्छु तर तिमी म भित्रै गाँसिएको छौ तिमीलाई त्यागे भने तिमी नानाथरी बहाना बनाएर फिर्ता आइरहन्छौ त्यसैले तिमी मर्नै पर्छ  तिमीलाई मार्न मैले अनेक बिख पनि खाए तर तिमी त्यही झन् जटिल हुँदै रहिरहेऊ  त्यो सिलिङ् फ्यानको आडमा डोरी बाधी तिमीलाई मार्न कयौ प्रयास गरे तर तिमी कहिले मरेनौ मानौं तिमिलाई कसैले सञ्जीवनी खुवाइएको छ  तर अब तिमीलाई मार्न म कुनै बिख वा डोरीको प्रयोग गर्ने छैन म त अब आफ्ना शब्दहरू र व्यवहारको प्रहार गर्दै  तिमीलाई बिस्तारै मार्ने छु मेरो सफलताबाट तिमी बिस्तारै मर्ने छौ तर म तिम्रोलागि मौन गर्ने छैन ।                                   ‌‌              -crystal